RECOVERY

Wow! Almost a month since my last entry. It's been the longest four weeks of my life. An emotional roller-coaster, literally. There was the two weeks of recording sounds, the break-up, then portfolio preparation and the interview. I got the place. I was happy and very fortunate to have been accepted. But somehow I just didn't feel myself. I couldn't quite believe it was all happening. It's as if I've lived the last four weeks in a dream. The days, the nights- it's all the same to me now. I'm slowly recovering. But I feel my life is still not on track. I've lost a dear friend who seems to hate me for reasons I cannot comprehend. How is this happening? It's as if the matrix came to life and she's been implanted with a Bullshit Chip. I'm not myself, but learning to see a new side to myself. Independence. I've been reading books. BOOKS! And I never read. All this reflection has put me onto a brilliant new plan. I plan to become NOCTURNAL. Only for three weeks (allowing myself a week to adjust). I will document this through film and photography. This will allow me to explore ideas that are simply limitations during the day. It's freedom of the creative mind. I don't know if I am going insane or if this is a sign of creative genius (oh I hate that word) to a next level. A social or psychological experiment into the mind, perhaps? Let's wait and see.